ATM

ATM (2012)

US (dir. David Brooks)

Cast: Brian Geraghty, Josh Peck, Alice Eve, Mike O’Brien, Bob Huculak , Ernesto Griffith , Bryan Clark , Dan DeJaeger , Omar Khan , Aaron Hughes , Will Woytowich , Glen Thompson , Steve Nagribianko

Synopsis:  After leaving their company Christmas Party together, David Hargrove and Emily Brandt’s impromptu first date takes an unexpected turn when their coworker, Corey, asks them to make a late-night stop at an ATM. What should be a routine transaction turns into a desperate struggle for survival when an unknown man appears outside the vestibule. With the wintry temperatures dipping below freezing, and the morning sunrise still hours away, they have no choice but to play the man’s deadly game of cat-and-mouse.

Review: COMING SOON!!!

Toronto After Dark Film Fest – Shorts After Dark

After viewing the incredibly diverse 2010 Toronto After Dark Shorts After Dark lineup, I’ve decided upon two short horror film entries that are definitely worth mentioning…

Off Season (2009)

USA/UK (dir. Jonathan Van Tulleken)

Cast:  Bill Sage

Synopsis:  In the remote Canadian winter, a transient robs summer cottages in the bleak days and drinks in the bleak nights. Until his dog stumbles upon a less-than-empty cottage with a terrifying secret.

Review:  To be able to build an incredibly tense atmosphere and establish a dark, unsettling mood is something that is remarkably difficult to achieve in a film,  yet director Jonathan Van Tulleken manages to accomplish all this within the span of only 13 minutes.  With hauntingly beautiful cinematography and a bleak, somber tone, “Off Season” captures the merciless, brutal cold of the Canadian north and develops a generally unsettling tale that builds to a gruesome discovery and a horrifying twist.  Though it is minimalistic to the extreme, “Off Season” is a short film that sticks true to the film-making mantra that concedes less is more.  With only one actor (Bill Sage) and an adorable Jack Russell Terrier at his disposal, Van Tulleken manages to build an engaging story, develop a bleak mood, and keep a steady, never rushed, pace in a 13 minute time frame.  “Off Season” is a short that manages to capture the audience’s attention and develops a growing feeling of dread in the viewer right up until it delivers the twist.  There is really nothing that can prepare you for the sheer horror of this dark little masterpiece’s disturbing climax, but I’ll tell you one thing is for sure… it will chill you to the bone.

4/5

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United Monster Talent Agency (2010)

US (dir. Greg Nicotero)

Cast: Cerina Vincent, Frank Darabont, Robert Rodriguez, Eli Roth, Dana Gould, Jeffery Combs, Carey Jones, Arden Myrin, Erica Frene, Sam Page, Jake Garber

Synopsis:  Directors Frank Darabont, Robert Rodriguez and Eli Roth cameo amidst dozens of horror film icons in this impeccably meticulous and loving tribute to monster movies. Produced by the award-winning artists at KNB Effects Group (Army of Darkness, Scream and hundreds of other classic horror films).

Review:  With Greg Nicotero (special effects designer for everything from “Evil Dead 2” to “Hostel 2”) directing this fun little short, could you really expect anything less than fantastic?  And with cameos from some of Nicotero’s well known Hollywood horror movie buddies (Eli Roth, Robert Rodriguez, and Frank Darabont), “Universal Monsters Talent Agency” is a star-studded, laugh-a-minute, nostalgia-laced trip down to Hollywood’s golden age of horror.  “Universal Monsters Talent Agency” builds on the idea of a talent agency for all the Universal Monsters (Wolf Man, Frankenstein, Dracula, Creature from the Black Lagoon, etc.) and the repercussions of dealing with such… demanding… talent.  This is a hilarious short that was in all likelihood, as fun to make as it is to watch.  The makeup is, of course, fantastic, and the horror film director cameos, particularly Eli Roth’s cameo as a 1930s era monster movie director, were great… however, I felt that cameos from some of the horror director elite (i.e. Wes Craven, George A. Romero, John Carpenter) would have been more well received, and in all likelihood, more recognizable among the horror geek crowd.  Overall, it’s a lighthearted spoof on the Universal Monsters, and a visual treat.

3/5

Skjult (Hidden)

Skjult (Hidden) (2009)

Norway (dir. Pål Øie)

Cast:  Kristoffer Jone, Anders Danielsen Lie, Karin Park

Synopsis:  Painful memories arise when Kai Koss goes back to his childhood home after 19 years and inherits his dead mother’s house.

Review: “Skjult (Hidden)” is another surprisingly great movie out of Norway.  Norway now has +2 points when you consider both “Død Snø (Dead Snow)” and now this fabulously surrealistic, and mildly terrifying entry, into the After Dark Horrorfest 4 lineup.

Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2

Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 (1987)

US (dir. Lee Harry)

Cast:  Elizabeth Clayton, Eric Freeman, James L. Newman, Jean Miller

Synopsis:  Confined in a mental hospital, Ricky – driven by the horrible memory of his parent’s death and forced to relive the violent actions of his brother – explodes in a frenzy of murder and mayhem.

Review: COMING SOON!!!

Cry Wolf

Cry Wolf (2005)

US (dir. Jeff Wadlow)

Cast:  Anna Deavere Smith, Ethan Cohn, Gary Cole, Jared Padalecki, Jon Bon Jovi, Julian Morris, Kristy Wu, Krystal Browning, Lindy Booth, Sandra McCoy

Synopsis:  After one too many incidents of bad behavior at his last school, Owen Matthews is sent to prestigious Westlake Prep – where a young woman has recently been found murdered in the dark woods near the boarding school’s campus. Owen quickly falls in with the school’s unofficial “liar’s club,” and he and his new friends decide to expand their game’s reach beyond campus, by spreading an online rumor that a serial killer called “The Wolf” committed the recent murder and is planning to strike again. The mischievous group’s descriptions of “The Wolf’s” intended victims are based on the people they know best – each other. Only when the school’s journalism teacher, Rich Walker, warns the group about internet predators does Owen begin to regret sending their falsified story into cyberspace. When the described “victims” suddenly start to disappear, Owen and his friends are no longer able to determine where the lies end and the truth begins.

Review: “Cry Wolf” is a terrible film that really should never have ever, ever, ever been made in the first place.  The only reason I even made any effort to watch this film was because the steamy Jared Padalecki happened to be in it.  Unfortunately, his appearance had no influence over my enjoyment of the film at all.  The film has a really stupid premise and an even stupider conclusion.  The big “twist” at the end of the film could be seen from about a mile away, and in all honesty, it’s a terrible twist anyways.  In advance, I will advise you not to see this movie.  It has nothing exceptional to offer and it is both bland and boring.

House of 1000 Corpses

House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

US (dir. Rob Zombie)

Cast:  Bill Moseley, Chris Hardwick, Dennis Fimple, Erin Daniels, Jennifer Jostyn, Karen Black, Michael J. Pollard, Rainn Wilson, Robert Allen Mukes, Sheri Moon, Sid Haig, Tom Towles, Walt Goggins

Synopsis: Set in the 1970’s, two young couples take a misguided tour onto the back roads of America in search of a local legend known as Dr. Satan. Lost and stranded, they are set upon by a bizarre family of psychotics. Murder, cannibalism and satanic rituals are just a few of the thousand horrors that await.

Reveiw: “House of 1000 Corpses” was a long awaited, Rob Zombie-directed horror film that was sorta stuck in cinematic limbo before its eventual release.  It being Zombie’s first foray into directing a full length feature film, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect.  I really did enjoy his music videos and I was hoping that the same feel that you get from his music videos would be transferred to this movie.  Needless to say, I wasn’t disappointed.  The movie is essentially one gigantic Rob Zombie music video complete with all the essentials, including but not limited to, a loving display of redneck appreciation, Rob Zombie’s own music, and the requisite appearance of his wife, Sheri Moon Zombie.  The movie itself is not perfect, and the flaws stem primarily from the poor story-telling ability of the director (sorry, Rob Zombie).  The surrealistic approach to the film-making was definitely what hooked me, and it’s one of the reasons as to why this film is one of my favorites.

This movie to me is more or less a superficial treat.  There are plenty of  shocks and scares that are heightened by Zombie’s fantastic use of colour, grainy images, and distorted audio.  It’s by no means a perfectly frightening horror movie, nor is it even a coherent film, it’s more like a psychedelic venture into horror.  It tries to be one of those throwback to the 1970s type of movies, but it fails because the content is too hardcore and because the editing is so random.  If you’re going to make a movie that’s a “throwback” to anything, I’d really suggest you capture the same feel as those movies and not just the costumes and set design.   By the end of this movie, you basically feel as though you’ve just come out of watching a horror movie while on acid.

One of the best things about this movie is the characters Rob Zombie has created.  Pretty much any member of the very colourful Firefly family (the evil family who is the primary focus of the movie) is a wonderfully, wickedly crafted character with enough personality to warrant an abundance of screen time as well as a sequel film.  Baby and Mother Firefly have to be my favorites, and it’s such a shame they would eventually be reduced in terms of their appeal and general kookiness in the sequel.   It’s so rare to have a horror film where you take more of a shine to the antagonists than you do to the protagonists (or in this case, the victims).  I ended up not giving any care whatsoever as to what would happen to the boring and incessantly annoying young couples who would eventually fall victim to the Firefly family and join the roster of 1000 corpses.   Not caring about the victims can sometimes be a bad thing, however, because if you cannot really emphasize with any of the victims/protagonists, and the antagonists merely function as morbid curiosities with little depth, you really don’t have any characters left to side with.  All you are left with in this film is a mean-spirited set of characters, “villains” and “heroes” alike.  “House of 1000 Corpses” is a fun movie, but it certainly is not for everyone.  Seeing it once won’t be sufficient, it’s a film that merits at least one re-watch.

4/5

A Perfect Getaway

A Perfect Getaway (2009)

US (dir. David Twohy)

Cast:  Timothy Olyphant, Milla Jovovich, Kiele Sanchez, Chris Hemsworth, Dale Dickey, Katie Chonacas, Marley Shelton, Steve Zahn, Travis Willingham, Wendy Braun

Synopsis:  A Hawaiian honeymoon turns dangerous for two lovers when they discover they are being stalked by a pair of killers.

Review: “A Perfect Getaway” is a a movie ram-packed with actors who are no stranger to the horror genre.  Milla Jovovich and Timothy Olyphant are two wonderful actors who, when advertised as being in the same movie, are huge draws (for me at least).  Add some Steve Zahn and a sprinkle of that chick who played Dakota in “Planet Terror” and you have the makings of a potentially awesome summer horror film.  Unfortunately, this movie is neither awesome nor is it truly a horror movie.  It’s more or less a thriller with maybe a few elements of horror (such as some random killer on the loose and a vague hint at some torture scenes).

If you don’t guess the very expected twist that occurs in this movie then you are dumb.  They really couldn’t make it any clearer unless they put a fucking sign on Milla Jovovich’s and Steve Zahn’s foreheads reading “HELLO! WE ARE THE KILLERS”.  The twist is painfully obvious, but the story is otherwise fairly good.  Three couples on vacation run into each other while hiking.  Each couple suspects the other couple of being the killers who are stalking the vacation area.  The couple you least expect (because the story is primarily focused on their story) are the killers.  What kills this otherwise interesting set-up is the execution.  Rather than providing us tension and a few unexpected twists and turns, the film just throws a red herring in our face and calls it quits until the big reveal at the end.  So instead of building on any suspense and drama, the film just gives up near the end and tries to wrap itself up before the credits roll.

One thing that severely pissed me off was the approximately 15 minute (randomly placed) flashback montage which featured black and white footage of two of the couples before they met.  One couple is killing and stealing identities and the other couple is arguing about engagement rings and their relationship.  Now I understand the necessity of showing a flashback which revealed who the killers are and how they operate (stealing their victims’ identities), but why bother showing it in black and white?  Furthermore, why intersplice that information with a video interlude where the other (good) couple discusses engagement rings and the girl and guy separately scope out potential rings?  And why show this in black and white too?  I was completely puzzled by this interlude, I even had to rewind the film to see if I missed something (I didn’t).  This flashback sequence just pops up like a bad zit and disappears as unexpectedly as it came.  I understand that maybe the whole engagement ring interlude was a segway into the reason why the couples vaguely recognized each other upon first meeting (turns out they saw each other while one couple was on a boat and the other couple was on the pier discussing enagagement), but why is so goddamn long?  And do we even really need this part?

Some of the acting (okay, specifically Milla Jovovich) is goddamn awful.  She looks and sounds like she’s in some fucking 10th grade school play.  It’s almost embarassing to watch.  She tries to play this silly/cutesy newlywed, but she acts so fake that it’s almost laughable.  Later on she puts her angry “Resident Evil: Apocalypse” face on and tries to act all “Grrr… I’m a meanie” but that backfires and she ends up looking like a soft core porn actress playing the lead in a girl-on-girl mud wrestle movie.  Seriously, she fights this chick in the dirt and it’s like, am I supposed to take this seriously?  That scene was clearly in there so some guy in the audience can later tell his friends, “Yeah, that movie was okay, two chicks started getting wild in the dirt and tearing at each other… it was pretty badass.”  Ugh.

The only high point in this movie was Timothy Olyphant.  He is the one beam of shining light in this other wise clusterfucky movie.  Olyphant plays a former marine who was injured in Afghanistan and tells a whole load of wild tales which illustrate his hightened capacity for survival (i.e. he survived a land mine, he survived a plane crash etc.).  I really enjoyed his little tirades where he boasts how he should be in a movie and he discusses the typical set-up of a script for a thriller film.  It’s a great little tongue-in-cheek slice of humour that made me love him all the more.  Sadly, the rest of the movie is left wanting of my love, because it’s really not that great.  I don’t even recommend you watch this movie because of Olyphant.  I doubt it would be worth your time.

2/5

April Fool’s Day

April Fool’s Day (2008)

US (dir.The Butcher Brothers)

Cast:  Taylor Cole, Sabrina Aldridge, Michael Beasley, Josh Henderson, Scout Taylor-Compton, Samuel Child, R. Keith Harris

Synopsis:  Last year’s April Fool’s Day party ended tragically. Will this year be any different? As popular and rich Desiree Cartier plans for the big day, she and five of her friends get to work planning a master prank. Little do they know, the six teens will become the next victims of an April Fool’s Day killer.

Review: In 9 out of 10 cases, a direct to DVD film tends to suck (i.e. “Laid to Rest”).  “April Fool’s Day” (a VERY loose remake of the 1986 movie “April Fool’s Day”) is one of those few exceptions.  The cast isn’t exactly fantastic, and when one of your main characters is Scout Taylor-Compton (god, is her name fucking annoying) chances are the acting will be sub-par at best.  Yes, the acting kinda sucks, yeah the dialogue isn’t exactly Shakespeare, but the story is fairly solid and it built upon two clever and unexpected twists (one that you may see coming, and another that you will not).  There isn’t enough slashing for this movie to be considered a slasher, but it does work well as a murder mystery which throws a whole bunch of red herrings at you every few minutes.

The story revolves around two spoiled brat siblings (Blair and Desiree)  who host a debutante ball at their impressive mansion.  On the invite list is Desiree’s mortal enemy, Milan (a picture perfect blonde with a heart of gold).  We aren’t really told why there is a rivalry, but it may just be some sort of jealously or something.  Either way, the rivalry is so intense that the siblings decide to “fool” Milan by drugging her with a date rape drug and instigating a half-assed “seduction” by using Blair as bait (in case you haven’t guessed it, it is April Fool’s Day).  Apparently, April Fooling has gotten pretty intense!  The foolery goes horribly awry when it turns out Milan suffers from a seizure after ingesting the drug, and she ends up running backwards (??) and tripping over a balcony about 10 feet away from where she actually had the seizure.  Needless to say, the poor girl ends up splattering all over the desert table and dies.  Oh and to top it all off, it was videotaped by the pranksters.  About 6 people had a small part in this prank gone wrong: the brother and sister, the debutante, Milan’s ex-lover and his fiancee, a celebrity blogger (??), and some kid with his hands permanetly attached to a videocamera for like 90% of the movie (turns out he had a raging crush on Milan).

Anywho, 1 year later it’s April Fool’s Day again, and there is a killer on the loose picking off each of the pranksters involved in Milan’s death.  During that one year, a lot has changed in the lives of those “responsible” for Milan’s death, in particular we discover that Blair (the one who seduced Milan) has lost his control of the family fortune and that Desiree has gained his control.  It’s an interesting set-up and I like the way it turns out because you’re always guessing whodunnit, only to discover it’s someone you least expect.  It’s not the greatest movie ever, and I’m severely disappointed it didn’t copy the original more (because the original sounds really fun!).  However, the script is intriguing and unique and it had a really neat little twist near the end.  Is it worth watching?  Yeah, I think so.  Could it have been improved just a bit more? Definitely.  Although I think some people may have their reservations about seeing a movie called “April Fool’s Day” because it sounds like a horror comedy or a really cheesy, throwback to the 80s, slasher.  I was really suprised to discover that it was directed by The Butcher Brothers, particularily since I kept hearing how their first movie was critically acclaimed and chosen as one of the 8 Films to Die For in 2006.  I guess I’ll have to check that first movie out and see for myself if it’s worth the praise.  Well, anyways… “April Fool’s Day” is decent, but I’m having trouble deciding on a rating for it… so here goes…

2.5/5

The Midnight Meat Train

The Midnight Meat Train (2008)

US (dir. Ryuhei Kitamura)

Cast:  Bradley Cooper, Leslie Bibb, Vinnie Jones

Synopsis:  A New York photographer hunts down a serial killer. Based on Clive Barker’s short story “Midnight Meat Train.

Review:  Pretty much anything coming out of Clive Barker’s head is guaranteed to be gore-tastic; The Midnight Meat Train is no exception.  If you are unfamiliar with Clive Barker, think of him as the lovechild of Jack Ketchum and Stephen King who was raised and educated by H.P. Lovcraft.  Basically every Clive Barker story mixes a dose of fantasy with a heavier dose of gore, and that’s pretty much what you get out of The Midnight Meat Train.  The story basically centers on a city photog who likes taking darker shots of seedy downtown areas, specifically the rapist filled subway station.  On his quest for the perfect photo op, he stumbles upon the aforementioned Meat Train of the Midnight Hours and sees bloody acts of carnage which lead him to a state of borderline insanity.  The carnage in this movie is pumped up to the max.  There’s tons of bloodshed and brutality.  You even get superbly done camera shots where you get almost right into the murders yourself.  It’s almost like being killed for real! Wicked!  Otherwise, everything else is done well – great setting, great mood, a great overall tone to the film, and some fairly decent acting (except not from the photographer’s girlfriend, more on that later).

The great thing about the story is that there is a lot left unexplained, particularly with respect to the Meat Train’s master butcher (a scary big guy dressed as a businessman, Vinnie Jones).  Unfortunately, when the story ventures to explain the reason as to why the Meat Train exists, you almost wish they didn’t tell you.  It feels like such a lame cop-out.  “Hey let’s just show the audience that there’s like this hoarde of monster people zombie things that eat humans so that we can avoid coming up with a reasonable explanation as to the necessity of the Meat Train”… right.

What’s even stupider is how the cops are CLEARLY in on the whole Meat Train conspiracy right from the start.  When you come into a police station and ADMIT TO THE POLICE that you were the last person to see a MISSING PERSON who is suspected DEAD, and that you also offer PHOTOGRAPHS of the person’s disappearance, do you really think they are going to smirk at you and brush you off? Come on, seriously.  It took me about 15 seconds to realize the cops were involved in the Meat Train scam.  Puh-leeease.  What’s hilarious is that the Meat Train’s organizers are clever enough to recruit the police, but the media outlets? Nah. No way.  The newspapers report the Meat Train victims literally within hours of their disappearance.  In one scene, the lead character (our curious little shutterbug) sees a girl leave on a subway with the Meat Train butcher at 2AM and then around 8AM the next morning, her disappearance is already in the headlines.  Really.  Holy inconsistent time frames, Batman.  Either this city has the best journalists in the whole fucking world or someone (ahem, Clive Barker) doesn’t realize how newspapers work.

Another dumb aspect of the movie is the photographer’s girlfriend.  Literally she’s the most annoying little twit I’ve seen in a horror movie.  I was pretty glad she got her heart broken (literally).  Within seconds of her boyfriend giving her a ring that looks like it was bought for a quarter in a vending machine outside of Sears, she bends over a diner countertop and sticks out her ass.  I really wish I was joking.  She didn’t even really say yes when he proposed, she just sort of… bent over a counter and allowed him to engage in some rough anal sex.  Needless to say, I was extremely confused.  I guess Clive Barker really isn’t the best at writing strong roles for women (with the exception of Hellraiser I).  What’s even more confusing is how the girlfriend goes to rescue one of her friends on the Meat Train, then trips over her own feet, and sits on her ass for like 15 minutes while her boyfriend single handedly fights off the butcher.  Seriously.  She doesn’t even get up or make an attempt to trip the bad guy.  Actually, now that I mention how the butcher and her boyfriend were fighting for like 15 minutes, it seriously reminded me of the chicken versus Peter Griffin on Family Guy.  It was that long.

But anyways, all in all the movie was fairly good… but the ending just killed it.  Introducing a supernatural element to the ending was laughable… I know that’s how Clive Barker likes to roll, but really, come on.

2.5/5

À l’intérieur (Inside)

À l’intérieur (Inside) (2007)

France (dir. Alexandre Bustillo & Julien Maury)

Cast: Alysson Paradis, Beatrice Dalle, Dominique Frot, Jean-Baptiste Tabourin, Nathalie Roussel

Synopsis: Still grieving over her recently deceased husband, a pregnant woman, alone on the eve of her delivery, is terrorized by a raging psychopathic woman who is determined to retrieve the baby from her womb by any means necessary.

Review: This movie can be summed up in one word… traumatizing. “À l’intérieur” is a French horror flick that follows in a similar gory fashion as other French horror movies, such as Haute Tension. “À l’intérieur” doesn’t havea fantastic script… it is pretty much outright horror from the start, but it does do a good job of balancing emotional tension and gore at the same time. The ending is a bit too Manson-family-esque and definitely not for the squeamish, but overall it’s a scary roller coaster ride of a film that leaves you feeling quite disgusted at the end. The “twist” ending is lame though, and could have been constructed way way way better with a better script.